Can we handle being alone?

Dedicated to the Lost Wanderer-
It is true that we come into the world alone and similarly, exit it alone. There is nothing so certain than maybe death itself. But then, why is everybody still obsessed with love?

Despite knowledge of our lone-ness, our interactions in the world are not any less special than we know them to be, only greater. To reiterate, we wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for our mothers in the first place.

People are everything. They equip us to handle and survive life. And as important as it is to know who we are when just with ourselves, it is also important to dedicate ourselves to relationships – even if it means that we change. In my opinion, everything that’s wrong with the world right now can be attributed to a growing divide amongst its people. For when I think about it, I realize how my family has grown apart because our short-term goals in life have become so devoid of people in general, though hypocritically we also want each other in the distant future. But it is important to know that relationships don’t work that way.

Friendships are harder but also more rewarding because in its case, it is us who choose to stay. We choose to be vulnerable and let the other person embrace us in all honesty, which according to me is the most beautiful feeling – to be accepted in all ugliness and beauty. And to near that stage, friendships are jostled and betrayed, sometimes even obliterated. But who wants someone who couldn’t endure some shit for you?

This is to say that we cannot live without people.

Now, let’s say we are not the ones who need to be reminded of this – what if it’s the people in our lives? And what if they take us for granted?

I think we should let them – in our passivity (not passive-aggressiveness) in its regard. Hear me out.

We all have different kinds of friends. Some – that we know will always hang around, then some – that are great conversationalists, whom we have great moments but few bare-all moments and some – that we secretly dislike but find innumerable moments to hang out with and naturally do. There are a few more that we instantly hit it off with but eventually grew apart from. About all these friends, we intrinsically are aware of what the friendship is, the limits it will endure. I know, romantically speaking, we’d like to keep all those friends. But if only.

It makes sense in being brutally honest about what we want from the friendship. And if we do see it steering that way, great! But if we don’t, we understand how different the two of us are and leave it at that.

I know it might feel like rejection, but it’s not. It is just someone looking for the best life conceivable to them. I think it’s fair to allow anyone that.

Hence, fear not – those friends who left had to and those friends who have stayed were meant to. Don’t let that take them for granted, though.

I know the idea seems heroically romantic – to vow to live with most limited interactions with people because it hurts to see them not respond. But the truth is, the idea is only impulsive and cannot sustain you. Just look around, there are so many people with such great stories and strengths. Let them amuse you – surround yourself with people who do. It is hard to let go but sometimes they just have to leave. Trust the ones you love, give all you have when you know they would appreciate it.

Because you are depriving yourself when you choose to give up people.

And check your contact list again, there is always someone who would be up.